therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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