my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
