i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
