Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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