Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There r osticjed everywhere
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
