and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
