My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Come see our sink grown plant.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
