I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
why do cheetos always look like penises
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
