Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize