i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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