two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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