Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
