So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
