Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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