Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize