I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
