It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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