i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
