That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
