she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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