I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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