this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
