so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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