Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
