I feel great
I just peed on a car
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
