That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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