Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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