sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
