He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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