please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
