i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
