Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
