ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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