Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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