Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
