My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
