honey bunches of taint.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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