Your mouth is God's brothel.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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