Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
