So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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