its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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