I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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