Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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