So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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