ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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