Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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