tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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