yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
