Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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