Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
