They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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