ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize