just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
