I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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