"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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