I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize