it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize