Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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