i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
