I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
